Here Fishy, fishy, fishy


So, we spent almost all of Memorial Day on the lake – – give or take a few hours that we had to go over to my brother’s house for a family BBQ.

I’ve rediscovered my love for fishing! Odd, ain’t it? I spent my childhood days fishing the Mississippi with my Grandpa – – as well as on Timber Lake in Iowa with him, too. He’s the one who really taught me how to fish – – well, him and my dad. I forgot how much I loved it.

Yesterday I hauled in my first large-mouth bass, ever. He was a 2-pounder and definitely a keeper – -but I threw him back. I wasn’t ready for the fish-comittment, yet. Ya know what I mean? Ya keep it – ya clean it. So, we stopped at the store today and picked up a nice filet knife and fish scaler. Next time that bass will be 3lbs and he’s mine – – I have my name on that one!

The family BBQ were as fun as family BBQ’s ever are. My brother and his wife and I are getting along much better these days (after somewhat of a fiasco in 2001 that isn’t worth mentioning, but caused much tension within the family). It’s nice to get together with them now. Sometimes family fiascos are a good thing – – they are cathartic and clear the air a great deal – – and mostly, the people involved end up respecting each other more than when they did before the fiasco began.

I wish I could say the same for my sister, though. Speaking of fish – she’s a cold one. Frigid would be more the word, I guess. I don’t know what the problem is, really. Back in the day – we used to get along quite well. When she lived in Spain, and I was still in high school – we were pen pals. When she moved to Mexico – I went ot stay with her for 3 weeks right before I graduated from high school. I have some fond memories, but the years seem to have driven a wedge and built a wall.

I’m probably the most easy-going person on earth. She is the exact polar opposite. I’ve tried to be nice and cordial. I’ve tried to be sociable and kind. And I get this stare from her that just is blank, cold and empty. When I do happen to get a few words out of her – – they are impatient and short.

It’s like this at every single family function.

This Memorial Day BBQ, however – – it was more painfully obvious than it ever has been before, though. My Mom and Dad, my brother and his wife, all the kids (7 of them) and Chris and I were all outside sitting on the deck, talking, telling stories – enjoying the company. My sister and her husband? They stayed in side the house all day long. Hardly came out and said anything to anyone.

So, Chris and I decided to go in. See if we could strike up some conversation.

My brother’s wife came in with us.

So there we were. Me, Chris, my brother’s wife and my sister, and her husband. Once we got settled in the kitchen and sat down, my sister and her husband promptly got up and went outside. When we went back outside – – they got up and went back inside.

I could have played that game with them all day just to see how many times I could make them get up and go somewhere else.

I swear I showered that day!

Ah well.

Chris says not to worry myself about it. There are some things that a person just can’t change, I guess. I talked to my Dad about it today, too – – and he said the same thing. He reminded me that she is just . . . odd. That she’s cold. Short. Impatient. And I know all of those things – and yet it still bugs me to no end, even though there is nothing that I can do about it except write it off as just ‘one of those things’

It’s sad, really. Years from now, when my folks are no longer around – – I don’t see a reason for me to keep contact with my sister. And that’s hard for me to take, on some level – because family is important to me.

There’s only so many years that I’m willing to beat my head against a wall before I just stop caring, altogether.

Maybe that’s what she’s waiting for? The day that I finally stop caring?

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7 thoughts on “Here Fishy, fishy, fishy”

  1. We are two fish in a pond, I tell ya. 😉 I just have no idea how to filet a fish. I do know how to buy a filet of fish, though!

    So, your sister. She obviously cares, otherwise why would she bother coming to the family gatherings? Have you guys tried the direct approach? Like you said, those fiasco’s can be cathartic – perhaps it’s time to start one with her? At the very least, you may actually find out how she feels and understand why she is so wierd around everyone.

    I call my bother about once a year, find out why he’s still a butthead, and end up feeling a little more “normal”. It’s my little annual treat, actually. I do it around Christmas or my birthday every year.

  2. That’s great for the fishing! if you really want a gnat’s ass fillet knife check out one of the electric ones!

    I know what you mean with the family stuff. We all get along on my side, but there’s some friction on mrs. knight’s side. My favorite was when her dad told her that she just has to understand that her sister being a bitch is her personality. I bit my tongue big time there… 😈

  3. Jealous of a 2lb fish? 😉

    I still have an issue with my family in Atlanta, but I don’t think that will ever recover short of a springer moment. If you do confront her, don’t over do it!

  4. I wonder what would happen if you just asked her what’s wrong. That’s so odd. I mean, you guys didn’t have a tiff or something, she just froze over the years to you?

  5. Yikes..I agree with Leanne and Jeanette-the direct approach. Clear the air if you can because you are right..someday you might be all each other has left. It’s all way too short in the grand scheme of things to be bitter, hold grudges or simply not try.
    And congrats on the fish!! They are easy to filet, once you get the hang of it. I would not bother with the scaler-just filet the skin right off..scales and all. My father was a tournament fisherman before he passed away and I’ve spent a lifetime watching him with a filet knife in hand. 😉

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