He’s talking about training me in SQL database and Business Objects and hiring me directly – because it would just be easier for him to do it that way, with someone he trusts. I’m not opposed to it. I would give me a nice annual salary, comparable to what I make now, with benefits – – allow me to work from home, which would also allow me to run my business at the same time without having to be responsible to another employer, elsewhere. I’m giving it some thought.
In the meantime, they’ve hired me to do a complete re-design of their website, which I’ll be working on while he is away.
Three weeks is a long time when you’re a creature of habit, like me. I dropped him off at the airport this morning and the first part of getting through these trips is getting past take off and landing. I’m a nervous nelly in the biggest way possible. I truly hate it when he flies. I feel like puking the entire time he is in the air – and that feeling disappears immediately after I know he’s landed.
I’m morbid as hell during those hours that he is in the air. I torture myself with all the possible ‘what if’s’ that could possibly happen. I work myself into a total tizzy, almost to the point of tears. Just when I’ve reached the height of my own self-imposed, internal hysterics – the phone rings and it’s him telling me that he’s on his way to pick up his rental car. The hysterics dissipate immediately, and I’m back to my normal self.
But for those few hours he’s in the air – I’m spending my time internalizing all my irrational hysterics about all the possibilities. I cleaned my house like a madwoman today – almost have the redesign of my design site completed, cooked, did laundry — all in the few hours alone after I dropped him off.
I need therapy. The next three weeks will be a breeze – until he boards the plane home…..then I’ll need some valium, I think. How do I break this?