Really, really good friends are a treasure, I think. You know the kind? The ones who say things like “How are you doing, really?” “Talk to me, I’m listening” “I’m here for you, whenever, wherever” The ones who let you go a little crazy – – or even a bit stark raving mad – while you’re venting . . . and they don’t judge you because they know you’re a bit distressed and don’t really mean half the things you’re saying. The kind of friends who are there for you to laugh during the really fun times . . . but they are also just as much there for you during the really low times. They offer advice – but don’t really expect you to take it. They tell you things you don’t want to hear because they know you’re just really in denial – and in your right frame of mind, you’d understand. They say things like “I have no idea what it’s like to be in your shoes – – – but I think what you’re doing is great” and then say things like “I haven’t won the lottery yet – – but when I do, we’re sending your kids to boarding school and I’m taking you on a month long vacation to the islands, because you need it!”
Really good friendship is something that you can rely on. You can rely on honesty – – even when you want to be lied to – – but honesty is truly in your best interest. You can rely on a joke to put a smile on your stressed/sad/angry face. You can rely on a little validation – – a little well placed criticisms and you can rely on them to tell you that you truly are nuts.
Those kinds of friendships are real. And by real, I mean they are unconditional, without judgment, based in reality and borne from true emotion, heart, soul and love. Those kinds of friendships aren’t fair-weathered. They don’t exist because there is some material gain or recognition to be had. They exist because the are real. A good and solid friendship keeps you grounded, keeps you honest with yourself and others and keeps you parked in reality – – and I believe those kinds of friendships are rare ones, and they are the ones that you need to hold onto for dear life.
I am lucky to have a handful of those. Through the good times and the bad . . . and stripping away some of the bullshit that may have gone past . . . or may even still be happening – when you really look at it for what it is – – bullshit and all – – the friendship is intact and it’s there, and it’s not going anywhere. I am damned lucky to have them.
To those I call my friend . . . to C. , to S., to my Dad and to D. – – I am thankful tonight. Without those four people – – today, I may very well have lost my mind. 🙂