Last night was pretty emotional. My dad came over at around 9pm for coffee after getting Grandma settled into her home. The doc pretty much just confirmed what we already knew – Grandma is dying. He wrote the order for Hospice, put her on some pain medications and told my dad that he’ll be happy to manage Grandma’s case for her duration in Hopsice. Dad just needed to talk. Doesn’t matter what stage of life you lose a parent – – it’s just not easy to say those kind of goodbyes. Think of how very important this person has been […]
Maybe I should be the big guy here. After everything that’s gone past, I suppose it’s possible to be the adult in the situation, hey? Today is my brother’s birthday. We used to exchange cards and phone calls on each other’s birthday every year. That is, up until about 2-3 years ago when that huge blow up changed everything. It was a biggie – it changed the relationship and changed the dynamics within the entire family – not just between him and I. Since then, we’ve learned to be amicable at holiday get togethers with the family. We’ve even found […]
Today, I had another one of those mortality moments. These moments seem to happen quite often in this job of mine – I suppose I should just get used to it. Not that I don’t accept and have come to grips with my own mortality – because I have. It’s not so much my death I worry about – – what I worry about is the effect it will have on my children. I sat with M. today for about 2 hours at her bedside as she completed her long battle with cancer. It wasn’t an easy road for her, […]
“I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration, I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person is humanized or de-humanized. If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as […]
It was a blessing, really. Isn’t that what is always said? A blessing to be released from pain, suffering, uncertainty and fear? In my short time of knowing C. ~ I feel confident in the knowledge that I helped her with everything I could to make her comfortable and pain-free. Probably one of the most frustrating things about situations like this is not the physical pain and symptoms. But it’s the emotional and spiritual pain and demons that I’m unable to treat and make go away. I like to think – from what I could see, that C. had the […]