I can't shit!

What do you suppose I was thinking? I decided to put a fresh coat of polish on my nails before leaving for work – but I did it before putting my shoes and socks on. So, now I have to wait. Stupid girl. I’ve been female my whole life (gotta clarify that these days, ya know?) – – you’d think I’d have these manicure rules down by now?

I have a patient to go see right away this morning. He hasn’t pooped in three days and is having anxiety attacks because of it. He called this morning. I answered the phone and without saying anything else, I hear a male voice on the other end of the line saying, ‘I can’t shit! I’m full of shit!’

Considering some of the men in my life – – truly, that could have been anyone.

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7 thoughts on “I can't shit!”

  1. I can’t top that, though I was awakened at around 5:00am today by my answering machine taking a call from a foreign language speaking wrong number. All the wrong number calls I get are in foreign languages, I can’t explain it. I should have my home phone disconnected, no one I want to talk to ever calls me at that number… anyone that counts calls my cell…

  2. wah hah hah! the company i work for gives co-location space to another company which provides adult chat lines. i may have been guilty of redirecting them to my ex’es phone number once or twice. evil, i know.

  3. My parents have a 1-800 number for us kids to use (of course we get yelled at when we do) however once it got printed in a porn magazine by mistake.
    All I can picture is my mom standing by the phone one morning.. still in her sweats with her hair a muss telling some guy ‘what she was wearing’. Ha. it was funny. Maybe I’ll go crank call her now.

  4. Crank calling your mother, hehe. I like it.

    Lisa, that is seriously TOO funny. Reminds me of my days as a medical asst. in a busy practice. We had some real gems…

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