There are keyboard markings embedded in your forehead.
The store where you bought your computer has a restraining order against you.
A cat outside your window was crushed by a flying bubble-jet printer.
The book “Windows 95 for Dummies” mentions you in the author’s foreword.
Your favorite pastime is using America Online floppy disks for skeet shooting.
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You set a 9mm pistol on the mousepad… “just in case you see that damned ‘Access Denied’ error again”
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