That was cold


I was on-call for Hospice on Labor Day. A situation that I had to deal with was a little surreal. The patient was 41. He was the father of three kids (ages 5, 7 and 10) and the husband of a 35 year old wife.

One of her very first questions for me was: “When is he going to die? Because the kids and I have tickets out of here to Arizona when he does.”

And then there was this, in regards to the 5 year old boy: “No one has told him that his father is going to die. Could you, please? Oh, and he has big plans to be a doctor someday – so go ahead and explain it to him on a medical level if you want to – – he’s really curious about that kind of stuff.”

When I was trying to explain her husbands prognosis and what she could expect as his condition declines – – she was shoving her daughters first place horse jumping ribbons in my face and telling me about a competition that they have next week, in Arizona, and asking me if her husband would be gone by then?

I understand denial. I also fully understand repressed grief. This was just really… very … odd.

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11 thoughts on “That was cold”

  1. Very COLD indeed! Sad too. Maybe “she” will get it later? Sometimes people never do. Thanks for sharing that very hard day. YOU are so special don’t ever forget that! ~hugs~

  2. At first glance she seems greedy and shallow… But i’m sure she’s just in a large case of denial and trying to keep herself busy and her mind off of anything to do with her Husband.

    If she really is that shallow, though, I feel for the children.

  3. Personally, I’m going to stick with the thought that grief and denial manifests itself in ways that, sometimes, I just can’t understand and leave it at that. It was just a very weird experience, overall.

  4. like randy says, grief does come out in odd ways *sigh*. I feel sorry for her. some people just don’t know how to deal.

    on the other hand, I always tend to think the best of people first and bitch fervently later…

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