My teenaged daughter has turned into a real smarty pants.Â I wonder where she gets that from?Â We have the strangest conversations.
I took her grocery shopping with me this evening.Â While there – our age difference was evident.Â I picked up Orange Roughy, asparagus, artichokes, among other healthy foods – complete with sugar-free jello to try and tame my overly-sweet sweet tooth.Â She picked up chips, pizzas, corn dogs (ugh!), ice cream bars and something called a “Rock Star” energy drink.
Apparently she has an opinion on everything.Â I bought olive oil because I ran out and I cook with it all the time.Â I’m picky about my olive oil, though – – it has to be extra extra virgin olive oil, and it needs to be the good stuff.Â The brand I buy costs $18.00 per bottle.Â She feels this is slighly excessive – so felt it necessary to announce that to the entire grocery store.Â I had to enlighten her to the joys of cooking with really good olive oil as compared to not so really good olive oil and informed her that someday when she ate healthy foods (yea, like 15Â years from now) – she would remember this conversation and maybe realize the benefits of really good olive oil.
We also had to discuss my sugar free Jello choice with her saying “You should get some regular Jello – because you always get the good stuff”.Â Me: “But I thought you just told me that sugar free Jello is ICK?Â So how could you consider that to be the ‘good stuff'”?Â Her: “Well it is ICK – but you like it, so for you its good stuff”
Yea – and chips and dip is not good stuff?Â Please, child.
Then I picked up one bottle of water – called “Smart Water” – which, of course she has an opinion about.Â “Mom – come on!Â That is JUST water!Â You don’t really think its SMART do you?Â You’re such a sucker for marketing!”
Actually I just picked it up because of the size of the bottle.Â Its exactly a quart – and I like to keep track of how much water I drink during the course of the day and I can reuse this one.Â To this comment, I simply said “It’s probably smart enough to do better than you did on your last Algebra exam.”
To which she had no response.
She spent the rest of the shopping trip musing, out loud, that if corn meal was made from corn, and oat meal was made from oats — then was cat food made from cats?Â What about baby food?Â That, and during the course of a 5 minute stream of words coming from her mouth I heard all about how she wants to color her hair blonde, how she thinks Britney Spears has completely lost it and gave up everything and should have stayed with Justin, doesn’t understand why a news channel like FoxNews would devote an entire day to Anna Nicole Smith as if there is nothing else going on in this world… like WAR, starvation, poverty and Iran building a nuclear program… stupid details like that… and then about this really strange video that some weird guy made and uploaded to YouTube about unicorns and Candy Mountain and called it his interpretation of the book Animal Farm by George Orwell.
Then spent the rest of the entire shopping trip quoting from said video.Â You’d have to hear/watch the video to understand why I wished I had a bag over my head.Â This IS a small town, after all – – what would the neighbors think?Â Heh.
Charlie the Unicorn
If you make it through the end of that entire video – I’m sorry.