I’m not a teacher. I’ve never really been good at it – but I muddle my way through. Frequently, throughout my career, I’ve been asked/required/forced to give classes on various topics. Sometimes those topics are within the range of my expertise – – sometimes they are not. When they’re not – I have to spend much time researching and collecting learning tools on the topic – – learn about it myself, and then present the information to a class of people who, supposedly, know less than I do on the subject. I’ve always been intimidated by public speaking. I’ve gotten […]

Andy is in the last stages of liver cancer. He sat down and looked at me and sighed heavily. He looked horrible – – his skin was pumpkin-orange, cheeks sunken, hands shaking…he told me that his doctor’s appointment didn’t go as planned. His hoped-for prognosis didn’t pan out like he had hoped for, his ex-wife was already closing in for her piece of his estate, his children were acting like money grubbing pirates fighting over who gets what, in terms of his assets, then his lawyer told him “Don’t worry about it, you’re basically bankrupt”….he told me the pain is […]

I have two friends who are near and dear to me. Kim and Carol. The three of us used to work together back when I was working in Administration in the hospital. I spent 9 years as the Director of Nursing Services. Carol was the Director of Marketing/Public Relations and Kim was the Corporate Nursing QI Consultant from the corporate office. Kim and Carol still hold their positions at the hospital. I quit my job in September 2002 and went to work as a real nurse for the hospice agency. I felt out of touch – – I was tired […]

I’m on call again tonight. Seems like I’m on call more often than not. What’s up with that? Got a call tonight at about 10pm. Patient’s wife told me that he just didn’t look good – and maybe it was her imagination – but she couldn’t feel a pulse. “Is he responsive to you?” I ask. “Yes,” she replied. I said I’d be out there in just a few minutes. I was. I walked in and from the door way I could tell this was not going to be a good night for anyone in the house. He was as […]

I’m on call tonight. Most of our patients are in their own homes. A handful of our patients are in Assisted Living, Group Homes or Nursing Homes. We have a patient census of 75 at the moment, and when the nurse is on call for the night – – it means that she is on call for all 75 of those patients from 4:30 in the afternoon until 8:30 in the morning. Generally, we’re on-call for emergencies, crisis and death. Makes for exciting evenings, let me tell ya. It’s not so bad, though – – we’re only on call about […]

So, I was on call on Sunday. I received a call from a patient’s daughter. The patient happened to be one of mine. She told me that her father had changed. His breathing had changed. His mental alertness had changed. And he seemed weaker. I was out there within 15 minutes, as I only live that far away from them. His daughter, Mary, was right. His condition had declined. He was doing all the things she said he was. I knew what this meant. Now Mary was looking at me like she wanted me to share that knowledge with her. […]

We have this report system for work. It’s on centralized voicemail box that the nurses leave report on regarding the condition of their patients – and the on-call nurse leaves report on any calls she made throughout the night. I just listened to report from last night. Don died at about 2:10 AM. Peacefully, she said. I guess he went and dropped off the face of the earth when I wasn’t looking.

Don kept me on my tippy toes from day one. All of my patients are special, in their own way – – and every once in awhile a patient comes along who touches me deeper than any other. Don is one of those types. I’ve said from day one that walking into his house was always like walking into a Walter Matthau movie – – – you know, Cranky Old Men parts I and II? Having Don as part of my caseload is Cranky Old Men part III – – I could write the script, honestly! Don is an ex-nurse. […]

I received a phone call last week Friday, late in the afternoon. It was from Washington D.C. – The American Red Cross, her name was Sheryl. She was calling regarding a new patient of mine – and wanted information regarding his condition and prognosis. Now, this is weird. Immediately, I’m skeptical – why would the Red Cross in Washington D.C. care about a home patient of mine who lives in the middle of nowhere in Wisconsin? So I start asking lots of questions – – ya know, patient confidentiality and all that. Sheryl explains further – – this patient of […]

Well, we’re having our first official meeting on Thursday night to brainstorm for our new business venture. We have quite a few things to straighten out. K. put together a very preliminary proposal with numbers based on experience and some case studies that we’ve put together on our own based on some of our current cases. He put the plan together in ‘worst case scenario’ mode. Although, there were a few statements in the plan that I had to call him on straight out. I gave him a call after C. and I reviewed the report and asked him straight […]