Never Say Never


A side effect of writing the book over the past several months is the weight gain that comes with lack of exercise and sitting in front of the computer every day, doing nothing but drinking coffee and writing like a maniac. So, now that the writing is over – it’s time for me to get back on track and stop ignoring my expanding ass. Just because it’s behind me and I don’t see it all the time, doesn’t mean I should forget about it, right?

So, yea – Melissa (my daughter) and I decided that we would do a 2 mile walk every day when she gets home from school. So far, we’re on day 4 and doing pretty good. A nice bonus, aside from the exercise, is the great time I get to spend with her everyday, just talking.

Yesterday, we’re on our way back home.. about 1 3/4 miles into our 2 mile walk. The wind starts blowing and it’s a little cold and my ears start to freeze. Luckily, I had a hoodie sweatshirt on. . so I pulled the hood up and tied the string tight so the hoodie was tight around my face, I was wearing big sunglasses and tied the string in a big bow underneath my chin. Yes, I know – I looked like a total nerd.

Melissa starts to crack up and tell me how stupid I look. “You look like a combination between a TeleTubbie and the Unabomber, Mom! I CANNOT be seen with you looking like that!! (dying of hysterical laughter)

I say, “Who cares, really? We live in the middle of nowhere. We’re walking on a country road that gets maybe 2 cars a month on it — who is going to see me, besides you??

I had to ask, right?

Just as those words left my mouth – – a guy in a truck drives by.. slows down and he starts honking and waving. WORSE than that — he pulls OVER! And of course it’s my ex-boyfriend from, like, 15 years ago. I gotta ask — how on EARTH did he recognize me looking like I did?? I wish I had a picture – because it was just… well, laughable.

So, of course Melissa is hiding behind me… still dying of laughter. Joe, my ex, is saying hi and me? I’m trying to melt into the country road..hoping to never be seen again. It was a short chat. Melissa and I continue our walk back home and she says “I’m so proud of you, Mom. You stood there and carried on a conversation as if nothing was wrong…and there was SO MUCH WRONG with how you looked! You rock!”

I DO rock! I rock the whole TeleTubbie/Unabomber look! And now..we’re off for our 2 mile walk today. Later!

7 thoughts on “Never Say Never”

  1. I think he recognized you because:
    (a) you live in the middle of nowhere on a country road, who else would be walking that road? or
    (b) you wore a lot of hoodies when you dated him and he recognized the look. :d

  2. I think I’ll go with option A because I flat out refuse to believe that he recognized me because I looked that nerdy while I was dating him! :((

  3. Too funny, as well as fantastic that you continue to have such a great relationship with your daughter. I hope mine is as strong with our son when he’s that age.

    Quit getting down on big asses! There are few things better than a nice round ass and skeletons ain’t sexy!

  4. It’s not easy keeping a fabulous relationship once they are teenagers… it’s a delicate balance, to be honest. I really enjoy her, though – – hanging on to her as tight as I can. She’ll be SIXTEEN in July!

    As far as my ass goes… I don’t think I run a real risk of having a skeleton ass anytime soon. It’s a genetic impossibility – – even when I was a size 8, they still called me bubble butt! My ass ain’t goin’ anywhere anytime soon lol

  5. That is TOO KEWL!! I’ve had similar moments – like 2 weeks ago when my middle daughter’s (all of 26 years old!) latest boyfriend met me for the first time – in my bathrobe and slippers, croaking like a frog! (I had a miserable cold…) I could have DIED! But, no one else would answer the door, so what was I to do?

    It *is* great having a food relationship with our kids. Keep it up – those relationships are one of the few things really important in this life.

  6. Loved your article on writing and how it keeps activity down i to am working on another book . I am down to the illustrations which are a lot of work in my case because i dress a lot of the dolls i illustrate with my self .

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