LOTR Survival Tips

For those of you planning on seeing the third LOTR movie at the theater here
are some survival tips.

  1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait… where
    the hell is Harry Potter?"
  2. Block the entrance to the theater while screaming: "YOU SHALL NOT
    PASS!" – After the movie, say "Lucas could have done it
    better."
  3. At some point during the movie, stand up and shout: "I must go!
    Middle Earth needs me!" and run and try to jump into the screen.
    After bouncing off, return quietly to your seat.
  4. Play a drinking game where you have to take a sip every time someone
    says: "The Ring."
  5. Point and laugh whenever someone dies.
  6. Ask the nearest ring-nut if he thinks Gandalf went to Hogwarts
  7. Finish off every one of Elrond’s lines with "Mr. Anderson."
  8. When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at the top of your lungs
    sing, "And I did it…. MY way…!"
  9. At the end, complain that Gollum was offensive to Ethiopians
  10. Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the end, bite off someone’s
    finger and fall down the stairs.
  11. When Shelob appears, pinch the guy in front of you on the back of the
    neck.
  12. Dress up as old ladies and reenact "The Battle of Helms Deep"
    Monty Python style.
  13. When Denethor lights the fire, shout "Barbecue!"
  14. Ask people around you who they think is the next "Terminator"
    sent from the Middle Earth of the future to assassinate Frodo Baggins
  15. In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and shout
    "RUN FOREST, RUN!"
  16. Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: "That’s what I’m Tolkien
    about!" See how long it takes before you get kicked out of the
    theatre.
  17. During a wide shot of a battle, inquire, "Where’s Waldo?"
  18. Talk loudly about how you heard that there is a single frame of a nude
    Elf hidden somewhere in the movie.
  19. Start an Orc sing-a-long.
  20. Come to the premiere dressed as Frankenfurter and wander around looking terribly confused.
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6 thoughts on “LOTR Survival Tips”

  1. It’s so good to see someone else who thinks exactly like me! I went to see the movie twice in theaters, the first time I watched it like a good movie goer would. The second time I went with a friend and we talked an made fun of the whole thing! Good Times!:mrgreen:
    Has Anyone Heard of the Very Secret Diaries of LOTR? If not check it out. They will make you laugh they will make you cry (mostly from all the laughing) But they are worth it!:grin:

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