Life's Like That

I’m a pretty easy-going, down to earth person. Easy to please. Easy to laugh. Easy to smile. Easy to . . . well, some things are better left unsaid. Let’s just say I’m easy going and leave it at that.

I have a wide and diverse circle of friends whom I love dearly. Each of them unique and vastly different from the other – and I love them each, all for different reasons entirely. They bring richness, quality and brightness to my life, something I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world.

I have a group of girls that I go out to dinner with every couple of months. One of them is my ex-boss from a hospital I used to work at. Her and I had quite a fallling out when I quit my job – – because the reason for my resignation was because our ideals were vastly different. She would not allow me to take the department in the direction I KNEW it needed to go . . because she KNEW it needed to go somewhere else. We bickered, argued, fought . . and eventually, I gave in and found a job where I felt I could be happy and useful.

But, to this day – we are dear friends. She’s a hard-core, liberal Democrat, compared to my more moderate, right leanings. We argue politics until we lose our voice. I don’t like her politics – – but I love her. And I do love our discussions on the topic.

I have another very close friend who is deeply religious, compared to my atheism. We sometimes get into some heated discussions about religion, beliefs, faith and god. She knows where I stand. I know where she stands. But at the end of a discussion where we are the polar opposite from the other . . . we still love one another. We can switch between discussing religon and hair products without missing a beat – – and without any ill will toward the other.

Chris, the man in my life, and I are at odds, politically, at times. When he and I first met – – it was like world war three! He and I would stay up until 4 in the morning in deep discussion and heated debate over current issues. Some would say that the heated debate fueled our love affair . . . but that’s a whole other story. To this day, 4 years later – – he and I can still blow the roof off the house with some of our political discussions. Some of our beliefs are vastly different. I love him deeply – – and there isn’t a thing I wouldn’t do for him.

I’m accepting. I like to surround myself with accepting people. The kind of people in this world that I just don’t have time for are the vindictive, angry, outraged people who have the ‘my way or the highway’ sort of attitude towards beliefs, values, religon and politics. I don’t want to surround myself with people who are a mirror image of me. If you want to hate me for my beliefs on a particular topic – – that’s fine. But I really don’t have any room for you in my life.

My friends . . . I love ’em. Warts n’ all.

I think debate among friends is healthy. It’s a wonderful way to explore your own beliefs, if you have a group of friends that you know you can trust to share those beliefs with . . whether they agree or disagree with you. These heated discussions that I enter into with my friends can be VERY heated. They’ll tell me why I’m wrong – – and I’ll enlighten them as to why I feel THEY are wrong. We’ll reason, rationalize and spin it every single direction to get a point across to the other. To PROVE that I’m right, dammit!

When I make a mistake – they point it out to me. When they’ve made an error in their discussion — they, usually, gracefully accept defeat. It’s envigorating and the entire process is deeply interesting to me.

Not ever, however – in this close group of friends that I surround myself with – do I ever hear words of personal attack. No matter how deeply we disagree with one another. These friends of mine know intimate details about my life – – my goals, my mistakes, my history, my ups and down . . my strengths and weaknesses – – but I can always fully trust that these friends of mine would never use the intimate details of my life against me in a negative way – just to prove how morally superior, righteous and better they are. There’s no name calling. You won’t hear “You’re a scumbag for believing that way” – – or “What a total asshole you are for that belief” – – or anything of the sort. It’s called respect and trust – – and I have it and give it, and treasure it deeply.

I’ve learned a great deal in my debates with folks who believe differently from myself on different topics. I’ve learned that I’m flexible, and open to new and different ideas that stretch my understanding of the world around me. If I disagree with it – – I want to understand WHY I disagree.

Sometimes those types of discussions and debates takes me on a journey that causes me to reevaluate my own standing on things, as I reason out, and try to understand the argument from the other side. I have strong political beliefs – -but I am not inflexible and they are not etched in stone.

To those friends of mine, and you know who you are – I just wanted to take a minute and tell you that I appreciate you a great deal – even in the face of all our differences. With you in my life, I’m rich – I grow and understand, better, the world around me. For that, I thank you.

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17 thoughts on “Life's Like That”

  1. I personally agree with you. I love it when people tell me I’m wrong. Nothing is more comforting than being called a Jesus Freak by those you’re close to or being called a hitwhore by people who should know better, or even being told outright that you’re stupid because you believe in God.

    The quality of debate in the blogosphere has definitely suffered.

    Well said, Lisa.

  2. I think you’re the way you are with your friends because there’s mutual respect. When debates go awry is when personal attacks happen instead of focusing on what you’re discussing.

    YOU are a wonderful person, Lisa. Speaking as distant of a friend (having never met), I know my life is brighter that you’re there.

  3. Jeanette – you’re making me misty over here. Now knock that off!

    Your friendship is not-so-distant . . after all, you can ring me up and rape my ear anytime you wanna. That’s pretty intimate, I’d say ๐Ÿ™‚

    And as for having a brighter life? Ditto on that sentiment, girlie – – ditto on that.

  4. Lisa, Great post, I could not agree more with every aspect you discussed. The reason why I originally started posting on your blog was because your politics are very different from mine. I originally started blogging on Jeanette’s religious site, because I am like you Atheist, I blog on Tim’s site because he is concerned with Government control where as I beleive that Government should take a more active role on a lot of things, and to be perfectly honest I started posting on Jethro’s site because he is a Chiropractor and I have a venomous dislike for “fake doctors” (no offence Jethro)

    I guess the upshot is that you are attracted to positions that oppose your own, what would be the interest of reading post after post that just confirmed what you believe? how would you ever grow as a person? I guess why thats why I married a right wing christian…..

  5. Beautifully stated, Lisa. ๐Ÿ™‚ In fact, I think that’s one of the best written things on friendships and growing as a person as I’ve ever read. I agree completely on the entire thing, but I guess my friends know that when I call them a “dirty rotten SOB” it’s probably a compliment…

  6. RedFred – thank you. I remember when you first started coming around here . . my first impression of you was that you were a typical blog troll whose sole purpose in posting here was to poke the silly conservative with a stick and see if she’ll cry.

    ๐Ÿ™‚

    I’ve since learned that you are really a decent guy – – liberal leanings, not withstanding. ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m glad you stuck around . . .you bring an interesting flavor to my measley posts in here ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. Astro – even when you point out my age and all my grey hairs, I still love ya. Back in the BH days, I always, always enjoyed having your voice around. It broke the monotony that sometimes developed in there with all that darned agreeing all the time! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    And the fact that you are a dirty little pervert makes it all the better.

    :p

  8. Yeah, that was kinda fun stirring up the pot with my threads on legalizing prostitution and weed. ๐Ÿ˜ˆ

    Hey, I may be a dirty pervert, but…. :mrgreen::razz:

  9. Glad to be of some use to someone! ๐Ÿ˜ฏ Hey I just try and speak my mind as honestly as I can without trying to offend (unless you happen to be the Pope or Dubya).

  10. I think it is great that you have friends like that where you can all have your disagreements on these levels without trying to ~convert~ the others. I have ended more than one debate with, “You aren’t going to change my mind”. Sheesh!

  11. You got grey hairs? Your pic doesn’t show any grey hairs…. is it a photoshop job? ๐Ÿ™‚

    I just wanted to add my “great post” comment, I enjoyed it. I think that sometimes bloggers forget that there are actual, physical, people, with actual, physical, feelings and lives at the end of our posts or comments – unfortunately things can get out of hand fairly quickly in this impersonal medium we play in and the next thing ya know even digital friendships have suffered… it’s a shame really.

  12. Blonde and grey blend well together – – hard to tell most times. Besides, Astroknight likes to exaggerate my greys. . . I think it makes him feel better because he’s bald. ๐Ÿ˜ˆ

    Thanks for the comments on the post. It is a shame . . and a damned one, at that.

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