I ran into an old friend today

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Well, I didn’t really run into her – I found her through an internet search on Google. I wasn’t searching for her, but I found her because she is a freelance editor/writer on the topic that I was searching for.

It was interesting because I found her articles and started reading them. They were really good and very well written. I felt drawn to the author through her writing and the sharing of her own experiences. When I viewed the author byline, it listed her name – which I did not recognize (she got married and changed her last name), but I saw that she is from Wisconsin, just like me. Her website was also listed in the byline – so I visited, to see if she had more articles that I could read.

On the front page of her website is a picture of her with her two young boys. I was so surprised! It was my best friend from high school! I mean, her and I were inseparable back then – we did everything together. The first time I ever skinny dipped in my entire life was with her, and four other girlfriends during a girls weekend away one summer to Silver Lake. The very first time I ever colored my hair was because she talked me into it, bought a box from the local Walgreen’s and colored my hair for me in her bedroom. We were in the student government together, theater, choir. I was there the day her boyfriend enlisted in the Navy and was shipped off to somewhere exotic and foreign. We spent a weekend baking cookies to send to him on his ship. I was also there the day he proposed to her.. and she said no because she wasn’t ready. I was friends with both of them, so it was not an easy day, overall.

I would like to say that Christy and I just lost touch and grew apart. But that wouldn’t be entirely honest. Truth of the matter is, the reason our friendship ended was entirely my fault and I won’t go into why it happened or the events surrounding it – but I lost her friendship through my own doing. Through the actions of misguided youth and stupidity.

After that, we both went our separate ways. She went off to college, moved to Colorado and married a nice man and had two beautiful children and now lives in Southern Wisconsin as a freelance editor/writer. I pursued my (failed) career as a singer/musician – went to college for music – then had kids, divorced, went to college for nursing and now work as a freelance designer.

She was always so creative, witty and outgoing. That she is successful in her career as a freelance writer is no great surprise – Christy was bound to be successful in whatever it was she chose to do. She was/is a very determined young lady. I always admired her for her individuality, creativity and wit.

I always wondered, over the years, what became of her. I knew she had the capacity for forgiveness, because we did touch base with one another very briefly, shortly after my first son was born and caught up a little.

I don’t think I ever really forgave myself, however. To this day – those circumstances from back when we were younger still haunt me – less so with each passing year, but it is always something I carry with me.. even though most would find them to be rather trivial. They weren’t really – and they stayed with me throughout my adult life, and really shaped who I am today in a “things not to do when you treasure your friendships” sort of way.

I found her email address on her website and sent her a note to tell her how much I appreciated her articles and how nice it was to ‘find’ her and see that she is doing well. I wonder if it will be received well… or received in that kind of “ohmygodican’tbelieveshehadtheballs” sort of way. I guess, even after 20 years, I am probably still harder on myself over it than anyone else involved would be, to this day.

The internet is funny – you can just be blindly searching for things and then run into something out there in the virtual web that stops you in your tracks and changes your entire day.

I hope she writes back – it would be nice to hear from her.

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6 thoughts on “I ran into an old friend today”

  1. The dumb things we do when we’re young, if only we had realized how we have to pay for them in the long run. 🙁
    I hope things work out for you (and her) as life is too short to not forgive, especially when it comes to forgiving yourself.

  2. Thanks, Stevie – still working on the ‘forgiving myself’ part. After 20 years, you’d think I’d give up already lol #-o

  3. So what you kissed her boyfriend? That’s just saliva under the bridge! Nice story there. I also love those rare times when I can get back in touch with the past.

  4. I wish I had kissed her boyfriend! Ha – he was cute 🙂 It was nothing like that.

    It is nice to reconnect with the past, even briefly 🙂

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