Here I go again


In April, I demoted myself. I held a management position for the company I work for and got really tired dealing with office politics, paperwork and regulatory bureaucracy….so I stepped down and took a field position as a case manager and have been pretty blissful ever since. I spend my days driving from patient to patient. I schedule my own time. Some days, I work 8 hours…some days I work 10…and there are days that I work 5 – – all depends on how I’ve scheduled my time. I have the freedom to shop in between patients…run errands…lunch with friends — as long as my patients are seen and I’ve done all I need to do to make sure they have everything they need, I have the freedom to wander around as I need to.

It’s kind of nice. I can schedule a dentist, doctor or hair appointment in the middle of the day – and as long as I’ve scheduled myself accordingly – – I can make those appointments with no problem. Some days I start at 8am…some I start at 10. Some days I’m hope by 4:30 – – and some days I’m home at 1pm…it all depends.

Working in the office, on the other hand — I was required to sit in that stuffy office from 8am until 5pm — with a short break for lunch, if I was lucky. It’s easy to understand why I was feeling claustrophobic. I think once a person gets a taste of the freedom of being out there on your own, scheduling your own time and having the freedom that I enjoy now – – it’s difficult to get used to the day to day responsibility of sitting in an office.

Well, today I did something I swore I would never do again. I’ve blogged in the past about my new boss (who is 4 months into her new position as Director now.) There have been some pretty significant issues with her and how the rest of the staff relate to her. Over the past 2 months, the office has sort of fallen apart and the place seems to be imploding at a fast rate. The problems with her are many – – but to put it in a nutshell…she has no memory for anything, forgets what she’s done and said and then lies to cover up the fact that she doesn’t remember stuff. She’s also extremely disorganized and runs the office in crisis mode all the time.

The staff is fed up. About a dozen of them have come to me over the past few weeks to complain about it – – and I redirected them back to our administrator (my bosses boss). I explained that progress was not going to be made and the needed changes would not occur unless those with the power to make the changes are aware of the problems and concerns that exist.

Over the past 3 weeks – the staff did just that. There has been a constant presence in our administrator’s office of staff with very valid and constant concerns regarding our new boss. It’s to the point where if there aren’t some MUCH needed changes to the way things are run — the staff is going to start dropping like flies.

The administrator called me in her office this morning to talk about the problems. I know the position that she is in. The Director is a key position in this organization. We have our annual CHAPS survey coming up, the company is growing by leaps and bounds, we’re expanding and moving offices in the next few months – – she can’t afford not to have someone in the Director position. I understand. I told her, however, that she can’t afford to have someone as ineffective as she is in the position, either.

I offered her a solution that I’m going to regret. Because I hate the fact that the office seems to be falling apart, quickly. Because Lynda (my boss) isn’t getting any better and she doesn’t have the respect of the staff and it doesn’t look like there’s a reasonable way for her to obtain that respect…because things are so chaotic right now and things seem to be going downhill quickly – – and because, down deep, I really do care about this organization and would really hate to see it backslide….I told her that, if she needed me to, I would step into the role of ‘acting’ Director for a period of no more than 2 months. That would give her the time to do a quality search for a qualified person to fill the role on a permanent basis. They would be able to take the time and interview people and make a decision on a candidate based on that person’s skills, experience and suitability for the job – – not based on the desperation of having to have a breathing human with an RN license sitting in the Director’s chair.

I made it clear that I DO NOT want the job. I’m not interested in it, in any way, shape, or form. Actually, the concept of actually working in that office again, day to day, – even for 2 months, makes me ill. On the inside, I’m scared to death that she is actually going to take me up on my offer. However, if it helps them get over this hump and make some much needed, and welcomed, changes in the office…I’m willing to make the sacrifice.

Go ahead. Call me crazy — because I am.

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4 thoughts on “Here I go again”

  1. I have a t shirt that says been there done so I understand where you are coming from. Most really good nurses have characteristics of doing what they think might be best for others and letter why did I really do this. You knew this was important for so many. You did what you knew deep down was a solution that could work putting aside your feelings at first and now it is oh shit why did I do that and just maybe she will not take me up on it. Well GF most likely she is.

  2. You know what Lisa… you rock. Even if the thought of being in that office get’s you uneasy – just know that you are helping out in a huge way. That took balls. That was teamwork and that was leadership. It’s just too bad that they can’t give you a leadership role that allows you to roam like your current position.

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