He Who Shall Not Be Mentioned



That is a word best not uttered in this household. Not even whispered about, even in the most remote corner of this house. We can’t have PopTarts, either. Don’t ask. Long story that can be wrapped up in teenage drama.

I have news. It’s hard for me to break it to you all who read about it in the past. I’ll break this to you as gently as possible. Here it goes….

Melissa and Scott broke up.

/hands out tissues.

We let Melissa off her grounding two weeks early. Reason? Because she was grounded until July 1st. Since we decided to leave on July 1 and go to Alabama for 2 weeks – we figured she would probably consider that to be an extension of her grounding, rather than a nice family vacation away from home. The lifting of restrictions didn’t come without conditions, though – we laid them all out – – and she abides. Life was good.

One day I told her that we were going to spend the next day on the lake and if she wanted to invite Scott to come, we’d be more than happy to have him. I thought she’d be excited and happy. I thought I’d get a GREAT BIG hug for being the absolute most bestest mother in the whole wide world!

She rolled her eyes, instead. So I inquire…..

“Mom .. he’s obsessive”, she says.

“Obsessive? How so?” I say (silent alarms going off)

“He has to tell me that he loves me . . .like . . every 5 minutes. And I’m like – – ‘Ok – yea – I heard you last time you said it 5 minutes ago'” she rolls her eyes again.

“Well…it’s nice to be loved,” I say.

“Every 5 minutes Mom?”

“Well, did you tell him you thought it was a little much?” I ask.

She says, “Yea – I told him that he didn’t need to say it every 5 minutes all the time.”

“How’d he take it?” I ask.

“Mom…he cried. He told me that I cause him too much pain. He cried! PLUS – – Mom! Like every hour he asks me: ‘Are you ok? Are you sure you’re alright? All I want for you is to be happy.’. I’m like — GRRRRR! Mom! He’s obsessive! Of course I’m OK – – if I wasn’t ok..I would tell him that I’m ok. So I tell him that I’m fine….I’m happy – – just like I was an hour ago when you asked me! IT HASN’T CHANGED!” she rants.

“And he says…?” I ask

“Mom – he cried! He always cries! I can’t look at him cross ways without him crying! Plus, now that I’m off my grounding he thinks that we need to spend every possible minute together glued at the hip! It’s summer! I have friends! I have other things in my life besides him! HE IS IN MY BUBBLE!”

“Your….uh….bubble?” I inquire

“Yea – you know – – my space….my bubble! I don’t need to be stuck on him like glue – – I have a life! He cried – – he says I cause him too much pain and so we broke up! I just couldn’t take it!” she rants.


I have mentioned, in the past, that this girl is like my mini-me. This conversation cements that concept. I’m watching her rant like a lunatic over how invasive, obsessive, clingy and needy this boy in her life is – – and I’m looking at a mirror image of myself. Is she turning into an overly independent, comittmentphobe – just like her mother?

Could it be?

Well, Scott is now dating her best friend. Melissa says that he told her he’s doing it just to ‘get back at her’ for hurting him. She told her best friend to bugger off – – and then told Scott the following “Go away – you are dead to me.”

Like sands through the hourglass . . . these are the days of our lives…..

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11 thoughts on “He Who Shall Not Be Mentioned”

  1. Dammit! Can somebody get me some popcorn??? How about some pretzels and a nice IPA??? :mrgreen:

    It could be worse, but is the world ready for two Lisas???? 😯

  2. I’d say it worked lol

    Chris says we should ground her everytime she gets a new boyfriend – – and the guy who is able to make it through her grounding is probably ‘the one’ lol

  3. 😯 😯 😯

    Ok I have to know…how old is she? I have three daughters. My oldest is 12 and still hates boys. How long do I have??? 😥

    Sounds like you have an awsome kid Lisa! Has her priorities straight!


    Ok so what’s the deal with the pop tarts?

  4. Oooooh Vicki! 12 was such a wonderful age 🙂

    Melissa is 14 – – starting her first year of high school this year. You still have a few years of bliss left 😉

    Ok – here’s the deal on the Pop Tarts. It’s nothing all that complex – – The kid, who shall remain namless – made fun of Melissa one day about the way she said “Pop Tarts” – – it apparently became one of those ‘you had to be there to get it’ running inside jokes of theirs.

    For his birthday – she bought him a box of Pop Tarts. The trip to and from the store to purchase this box of Pop Tarts was filled with maniacal giggles that can only spew forth from the face of a teenaged girl! 😉

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