Last night was pretty emotional. My dad came over at around 9pm for coffee after getting Grandma settled into her home. The doc pretty much just confirmed what we already knew – Grandma is dying. He wrote the order for Hospice, put her on some pain medications and told my dad that he’ll be happy to manage Grandma’s case for her duration in Hopsice.
Dad just needed to talk. Doesn’t matter what stage of life you lose a parent – – it’s just not easy to say those kind of goodbyes. Think of how very important this person has been to you – for your whole entire life. It’s not easy to let go. Dad is doing alright, though – – he knows we don’t live forever…we all eventually die. He’s not the type to sink into denial.
He got a little freaky-spiritual on me last night, though. He was talking – – he needed to get it out..needed to sort it out and all that. His sister – the one who died when she was 16, was very close to him. Her death was devastating to him at that time. Dad once told me that he doesn’t pray to god . . . instead, he talks to his sister and figures she is his liaison between him and any possible higher power who may be hanging out. He told me he doesn’t think it’s any coincidence that I am the spitting image of her and named after her – – and seem to be the one person in Grandma’s life, besides himself, who looks after her and makes sure that things are going as smooth as possible. He asked me if I believe in fate? He asked if I believe in destiny? He asked if I thought it possible for a piece of a person’s soul to be passed on when they die, to another person – to help fulfill any unfinished fate/destiny type stuff that they weren’t able to? He essentially was telling me that he thought he might believe that his a part of his sister resides in me – – for the purpose of looking after her mom.
Yike.
Dad doesn’t normally talk like that. He’s pretty stoic, usually. Situations like these usually tend to break down those stoic walls for a short time. I told my Dad that I didn’t know – – that I suppose it was possible, sure. Hey, if it helps my Dad to believe that inside of his daughter lies pieces of his sister’s soul helping her look out for and care for their mom – – well, who am I to judge that?
People deal in different ways.