After the last call at 3:30AM this morning – I didn’t receive anymore calls. Well, I did receive one phone call about a patient of ours who also happens to be my grandmother. Apparently our answering service at work wasn’t answering the phone when my Dad was trying to reach the nurse on call – so he called me to see if I knew who was on call and could I get in touch with that nurse. I offered just to come over and see grandma myself – but my Dad said he wanted the nurse. I am a nurse!! […]

A certain amount of conformity is normal, I suppose. I mean, I do it a lot – I realize. I do conform to some societal things, like wearing clothes, driving on the right side of the road (mostly), etc. But is that really conformity? Or is that just following the law and the rules? Am I doing those things because everyone else is? Or am I doing them because it makes my life easier and more hassle-free? I guess I’m more the type of person who, if she’s going to conform to something, it’s going to because I find there […]

I admitted a new patient onto my case load today. A 45 year old man with lung cancer with metastasis to his brain. They decided to discontinue further chemo and radiation therapy last week – and made the difficult decision to cease all aggressive treatments. The hard thing about this case is that it’s somewhat personal for me. The patient is the husband of a woman that I graduated Nursing School with 10 years ago. She’s torn up – – the kids are torn up – – and it’s just a difficult situation overall. It’s hard for me to watch […]

Really, really good friends are a treasure, I think. You know the kind? The ones who say things like “How are you doing, really?” “Talk to me, I’m listening” “I’m here for you, whenever, wherever” The ones who let you go a little crazy – – or even a bit stark raving mad – while you’re venting . . . and they don’t judge you because they know you’re a bit distressed and don’t really mean half the things you’re saying. The kind of friends who are there for you to laugh during the really fun times . . . […]

Last night was pretty emotional. My dad came over at around 9pm for coffee after getting Grandma settled into her home. The doc pretty much just confirmed what we already knew – Grandma is dying. He wrote the order for Hospice, put her on some pain medications and told my dad that he’ll be happy to manage Grandma’s case for her duration in Hopsice. Dad just needed to talk. Doesn’t matter what stage of life you lose a parent – – it’s just not easy to say those kind of goodbyes. Think of how very important this person has been […]

Maybe I should be the big guy here. After everything that’s gone past, I suppose it’s possible to be the adult in the situation, hey? Today is my brother’s birthday. We used to exchange cards and phone calls on each other’s birthday every year. That is, up until about 2-3 years ago when that huge blow up changed everything. It was a biggie – it changed the relationship and changed the dynamics within the entire family – not just between him and I. Since then, we’ve learned to be amicable at holiday get togethers with the family. We’ve even found […]

“I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration, I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person is humanized or de-humanized. If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as […]