Twelve Truths
- Life is sexually transmitted.
- Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
- Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich!
- Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks.
- Some people are like Slinkies…not really good for anything, but you still can’t help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
- Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
- Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
- All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
- Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
- In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
- Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
AND THE # 1 THOUGHT FOR 2004:
Many terrorists come to America legally and hang around on expired visas (some for as long as 10-15 years). At Blockbuster you’re two days late with a video rental and those people are all over you. I think we should put Blockbuster in charge of US immigration
Oh shit that is too funny LMAO ๐ EXCELLENT
I love 8, 9 & 10 … so true.
๐ ha ha ha …this will keep me chuckling for a while…time for me to put a link to this list from my site.
12 is great. The whole list is great but 12 is greater….
ps. those smilies look suspiciously familiar.
having experiance with both blockbuster and the INS or whatever it is called now, I can safely say the #12 needs to be signed into law immediatly.
:: Announcement :: Astro doesn’t have a sandwich.
๐
Hey Lisa, can you give mrs. knight a call and let her know too????
LOL! Great list.
Way too funny!:lol:
Too true! Loved it, thanks for sharing.
Brilliant!!
HAHAHAHA. that list is hilarious.
I vote for #’s 3,4,10, & 11. Very funny stuff!
๐
Oddly enough, today’s post was on a very similar note, foot, floor. So to you, I raise a toast, humming “Oh yes, Peter, it does go well with the chicken.”
Very creative. ๐
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