Went out to dinner tonight with my friends Carol, Debbie and Kim – we had a blast. Wednesday nights are All-You-Can-Eat Crab Legs for $15.99 at the Landing Strip, a pub across the street from the airport. Last time I had dinner with them was 2 months ago – – I think this is fast becoming a habit now and a regular thing. I used to work with those three – – and they still work at the old place, and I have moved on – – but it’s nice to know that some things just endure. 🙂
I miss him. That’s the only drawback to vacations with him…..it’s the Soul Drop that I experience afterwards. lol But it is soooooooo worth it – so I wouldn’t exchange a moment of it. I told my friends tonight that I was expecting to have a new roommate in May. Simultaneously they all said his name out loud – – as if it would be anyone else. lol I nodded and said, “Of course!” They were thrilled and all told me that they were happy and thrilled for me. Carol – who has been my friend for the longest out of them all, told me aside that she couldn’t get over how simply happy I looked when I talked about it, and talked about him. Carol has been through a few different relationships with me – – she told me she remembered when I told her about my engagement to D. – – she said, when you told me about it, you almost looked and acted embarrassed about it all. I told her it was because it never really felt ‘right’ at any point in time. But she noted it’s totally different when I talk about C. – – as it should be, I think….cuz it’s all totally different, in a tremendous way. 🙂
I was also talking to S. earlier…just chit chatting about different things. We got on the topic of cheating spouses…men who cheat on their wives and vice versa. We talked about people we’ve known through the years and how different situations were handled, etc, etc. I admit that for a long time in my relationship with . – there were times that I worried about that. I think being in a long distance relationship can create those fears, especially when you’ve been in relationships over the years that kind of teach you to just simply expect that kind of behavior out of people. It took longer than it should have to develop that total kind of trust – – but I finally got there, and the transformation regarding it wasn’t something that just happened one day. At least I don’t think so. I think it happened gradually – – it’s just that when talking about it with S. – we started laughing over the times in the past where I would obsess with worries at times, and how that just never seems to happen or crop up in conversation anymore. At some point, without even noticing it – I just crept over that wall of trust and it’s not something that bothers me anymore…and I have to say that while it is an incredible feeling to be able to trust that way – it’s also kind of scary at the same time. But it’s the fear that I needed to let go of – – – and somewhere, somehow in this past year – – I did loosen my grip on it and let go of it, and it feels really good, solid, healthy and fabulous. S. said to me tonight, “This is the most intense relationship you’ve been in” and she’s right. She knows my history well, this relationship with C. is different in a fabulous way. I’m happy. And that thrills me to pieces. 🙂
Nitey nite