It feels a bit strange… when one of your ex-boyfriends finds you on the ‘net by doing a Google (or in this case, Yahoo) search – isn’t it? Ever had that happen to you? I just did today… and it’s… weird.
Chris contacted me via email today. The Chris I’m referring to is not my husband, who is Chris also.. but this particular Chris is a guy I dated for 3 years, quite some time ago. A lifetime ago, actually. He’s a great guy with a beautiful wife and a whole boatload of beautiful children. He searched for my name in Yahoo! – for whatever reason (haven’t you ever searched out an old friend to see if you could sneak a peek into what their up to nowadays?).. and found me, my blog, my Amazon listing, my Flickr account, my photoblog… you name it, he found it and looked through it.
Let’s back up a bit here…. back to..oh say… well, a really long time ago (we’re talking the 80’s here, folks). Yep – we’re talking THAT long ago (oy!) Chris was my first ever real love in life. My first serious relationship and my.. well… my first..ya know. *wink* He was the lead in all the school plays, the soloist in all the choir concerts and otherwise an all around pretty talented guy. He was my prom date and one of my bestest friends, at the time. There was no one in the world who could make me as crazy…or as happy, as he did during those years.
When he went away to college.. I remember he had his best friend, Bob, take me to prom that year because he could not make it home for prom and he wanted me to go and have fun. I remember Bob tried to kiss me that night… he wasn’t successful at it, but it created a bit of drama for everyone involved.
I have a lot of really great memories of those years…none of them bad.
Chris and I grew up and grew apart. He went off to a Christian Bible college in Minnesota where he was studying to become a pastor – and I graduated high school and took a job as a lead singer in an R&B band. Let’s just say that by the time our relationship ended, our priorities and focus in life couldn’t be more different… complete opposites by the time we broke up. He eventually met a nice girl from the Bible college and married her… and I eventually met a not so nice guy and married and divorced him – – then didn’t remarry until recently in 2006. I remember taking a bit of pride in the fact that he would forever describe me as his ‘first original sin’ and the one person who fully corrupted him before entering into his Bible College. (If I remember correctly, it was the Apostolic Bible Institute in St. Paul Minnesota – of the United Pentecostal Church).
Leave it to me to corrupt a man of the cloth, eh? Well, pre-cloth anyways. 😉
Chris and I kept in touch a little bit after all that. He and his wife invited me over to their place for dinner one evening in 1992, while they still lived in the area. I met his kids.. he met my kids. The very last time I talked to him was in a phone call in 1994 – – and I don’t remember why I was on the phone with him at that time – – I only very vaguely remember it today. I haven’t seen or heard from him today until I got his email… “Lisa.. WOW… ran a Yahoo! search on you and you’re all over the place!…..”
Now – understand, there are no ill feelings between the two of us. I was thrilled and very happy to hear from him – – happy to know that he’s still alive and kicking somewhere out there in the world and thrilled that he took the time to look me up and contact me to say “Hey!”. That’s so cool.
What’s weird is the idea that he’s looked through all my stuff. His email said “You’re looking good, too (…was looking through your Flickr pictures… hope you don’t mind).”
And I don’t mind.. I really don’t (Chris, if you’re reading.. really, I dont’ mind). It’s just that weird feeling of someone that you used to know… intimately, is catching up on your life in a way that doesn’t involve directly speaking, or communicating with you.
When you put yourself *out there* like that – – you’re granting permission to anyone and everyone to peek into your life. Even if I did mind… it’s not as if I could stop someone who really wanted to.
Every single detail you’ve ever published about yourself, your family, your dog, your cat, your car, your job, your sex life, your worries, woes.. failures, accomplishments… everything you’ve ever published or have otherwise allowed to run wild on the internet is out there for consumption to anyone who wants to read it.
This includes ex-boyfriends, ya’ll. (eek!)
That’s what the internet has brought us… that is the world we live in today here on the world wide web. That is why I do not broadcast every single minute detail of my life on this blog, or anywhere for that matter – because there are just… things that do not need to be published and then, subsequently found, on Google, or other search engines.
So.. just… careful what you publish about yourself, people. It can turn right back around and bite you square in the ass.
Luckily, for me, catching up with Chris is awesome. He’s no stalker… not a psycho and he really just wanted to drop a line and say HI! I’m really happy that he did, and after the initial weird feeling went away…I don’t have any problems with him catching up on my life through my blog, photos and other various places around the web…. but it also got me thinking about a few other ex-boyfriends out there who I wouldn’t want to hear from… who I wouldn’t want to have browsing through my stuff and makes me really think twice about what I’ve put out there. I hope they don’t Google search me!
Just want to say a big thanks to Chris who eventually did drop me a line, after catching up on my life through the internet. It was wonderful to hear from you again!