Girlfriend!

I am only as strong as the coffee I drink, the hairspray I use and the friends I have. To the cool women that have touched my life. Here’s to you!

girlfriend

It is good to be a woman:

We got off the Titanic first.

We can scare male bosses with the mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.

Taxis stop for us.

We don’t look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival the Speedo.

We don’t have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.

If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end.

We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

We have the ability to dress ourselves.

We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot.

We will never regret piercing our ears.

There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren’t listening anyway.

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11 thoughts on “Girlfriend!”

  1. Amusing…and uncomfortably accurate. I don’t own a speedo because I see me in the mirror every day…going to shave now….wait…yep, they’re still there..whew!

  2. Whats wrong with the Speedos. They are teh great Aussie cozzie. Or budgie smugglers if you like. Leave them alone!

  3. It’s good to be a man….

    -Sure you got to get off first but you still got lumbered with all the kids…
    -Men gan get a week off any time by saying we have a “wellness” exam that week.
    -Frog in a Blender? you mean like John Travolta in Saturday night fever, right???
    -Speedos…. yeah you got me on that one.
    -We can amuse ourselves simply by passing gas.
    -If we don’t shave we look rugged, not… hairy!!
    -We are all secure enough in our sexuality that we can slap another guys ass without any homosexual inferance… yeah right… how ’bout those Bears, guys?
    -We can reach down and fondle, sorry, “check” ourselves every 6 seconds.
    -we might not beable to dress ourselves, but we can wear the same outfit more than once and can at a push be ready in less than 24 hours….
    -We can picture the opposite sex naked during conversation…. or riding the bus, or walking down the street, or riding the elevator, or sitting in the office, or working out in the gym…. hell we can do it while we are on the phone.
    -We can marry someone 20 years younger! result!
    -We never regret getting a tattoo
    -No mater how much we piss her off chocolate really can solve all your problems.
    – sorry what was that last one… I wasn’t listening!

  4. hey… i remember i was drinking wiht my ladies and i made a cheeer cuz it was the first time were ALLLL single.. we just got outta relationships.. or.. had someone in mind that didn’t like us bad.. ”heres to the men that we love… here’s to the men that love us.. but the men that we love will never love us.. so SKREW THE MEn.. and heres to us!! Cheers”
    girls rock… thatspretty much all thereis to it

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