I am only as strong as the coffee I drink, the hairspray I use and the friends I have. To the cool women that have touched my life. Here’s to you!
It is good to be a woman:
We got off the Titanic first.
We can scare male bosses with the mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
Taxis stop for us.
We don’t look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival the Speedo.
We don’t have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.
If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end.
We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
We have the ability to dress ourselves.
We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot.
We will never regret piercing our ears.
There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren’t listening anyway.